What mother means to me

unlike you who read this, i grow up without enough love from my mom, because of some unidentified reasons. she left when i was 11.

no, i didnt write this to ask for your sympathy, and not for mengaibkan diri sendiri or sesiapa yang terasa. i just need to share my feelings with anyone who seem to care about me by reading this blog (if you don't really like me, or care, u must be reading this because u hate me, i know you, readers)

at 11 years old, i was the mother to my 3 younger brothers and ironically, i was growing up too!

so, 'mother' doesn't seem to fit our life vocabulary. growing up with my dad, i have never seemed to celebrate a mother for mother's day. i remembered once in my life, i thought of buying a 'happy mother's day' card for her and wrote the stuff i wanna say to her and just keep it. but i never did.

so, for my nearly 20 years of life, i have never grow up with a motherly love. i can only appreciate with what i have in life because i know i should be thankful because i still have daddy and caring family. there's kids out there living without a single parent; tak berayah dan beribu. 


that's why in life, i always try my best to look for the bright side and look into troubles as challenges in life. life is hard, and i bet half of the readers here don't really know the meaning of 'hard-life'. i'm not being proud of saying 'oh, i don't have a mother, so i'm the most independent girl alive', no. i'm just saying that life has taught me a lil more experience than girls my age do.

i just hate it when people don't love and appreciate their mother, and they won't until they have  lost their mommy. dont you know that without your mum, u couldn't even breath in this world??? it's really painful to watch people have their mother's support no matter what they do, when all we siblings can do is just be emotionally-numb.

back in 2006

so, appreciate your mother and tell them how much you love them before it's too late!!!!!




mama, if ever you are reading this, i want you to know that i am amazed that i can live for 9 loong years without you, even though if it's not because of you, i wouldn't be typing these words.

*sobbing*

well, life has to be continued, right???


so, i only have three moms to be appreciated in life.

first

my Tokmak (granny) that has done so much for me, i am me today, because of her. even though the world hates me, she still stand besides me to protect me, thanks Tokmak for the things you have taught, love and attention u have given me. u're the best.

love you even if the sky is falling down. :)

 second

Antina, my closest auntie, that understand me better than anyone else, sebab dia berjiwa, berbadan muda. we both love shopping, and we agree on many things. happy mom's day! sorry takde hadiah, i can only take care of your kids as much as i can. halalkan makan minum Nina ok!

old picture, Bethrisya pun dalam perut lagi :D

mak vogue anak dua, badan wajib maintain.

third

my future mom-in-law. she is soon to be the most important person in my life, and surely, she's the VVIP in her son's heart (my fiancé is her anak emas, according to him :D )

nothing fancy to give her for her belated birthday gift/mother's day gift, only this hopefully can make her happy.

p/s: my hero suruh highlight our first meeting, his birthday 3rd December 2005 was our first face-to-face met!

xoxo