=(

Friends

First of all, i am happily announcing that i am in a serious tense..

The reasons are countless to be mentioned.. i just feel like writing something to let it out from my mind and heart as i am painfully depressed this very moment.

Oh shit! As i was walking from my class to go back to my room, there are lots of thing that i wanna write down, now there’s none! Maybe it’s just my mind, thinking about silly things during my anger period...

The thing is, i think dat this is the worst semester ever! But compared to my other semesters (including my time back in mjsc muar), it is more or less the same.. i mean worst in terms of my relationship with frens and my feelings throughout the semester..

Ouh what unlucky i am.. i always found difficulties to make a friendship works.. oh lord, am i dat terrible in terms of being a friend? I always wanted to make them happy when they are with me, but it seems to me dat they are happier when i am not around.. or worse, they don’t even care when i am not around..

Why am i cursed to be a bad friend? Couldn’t i be a friend who is always be remembered by my frens? I want to have lotsa frens, and being able to find a true frens among many of them.. life is unfair, isn’t it?

Unfortunately, my frens are those who will find me only when they are in need, not more than that.. i envy every other people who have many frens and also bestfens.. gosh..

Sometimes i do think frens are not that important, but in some cases, they are.. when we wanna go shopping or watching movies, we need a friend. I don’t wanna be said as a loner.. it is sarcastically pathetic, the word of loner itself.. perhaps i can plug on my earphone and play the song ‘lonely’ by akon??

Also, when we need someone to chit chat and gossips! We definitely need one, right. U can’t be talking to the wall and gossiping around to it, right?

If only i could read people’s mind, i would do so and figure out what my problems really are..

hmmm.. to my frens, i hope u can make me happy for another 22 days during our stay here, even if u have to pretend to, pls do so.... i definitely don’t wanna remember all these bad memories during my asasi tesl time during my future years..

Some says i deserve wut i got.. okay.. i accept it.. but... cant i have my second chances? I promise i wont blew ur trust again.. i just want to be a gud fren.. dats all, my wish is not dat difficult to be fulfilled, right?

Hmmm.. syg.. i know dat u r million miles away from me, but i really feel like talking to u about this matter now.. u r the one who always wipe my tears and says dat i’m stronger than this, and the one who always tells me that i will be just fine.. i need u syg, more than usual this instance.. could u lend ur shoulder for me to cry on? U have told me once dat when i miss u, i should look at the stars and one of the stars will be u, smiling at me.. but i don’t wanna see stars, i just wanna see you.. is it too much to ask?

I hope dat i can whisper to you saying i love you and you whispering to me saying you love me too.. take care okay my angel.. hope u r doing well in that floating prison.. i am missing u more than ever rite at this moment..

Hearts, nina..